30 Seconds

Local View 2

2009-10-13T01:18:00.001-05:00

Social Network

2009-08-02T18:31:00.003-05:00

I've long envisioned a utopia in which all the people important to me, all my friends and family, were all in one place. I miss those that are scattered across the country...I want my friends to know each other....

But poking around Facebook (which I've not YET taken the plunge to join), seeing people from work, high school, church, etc., recently cast question on that ideal. Would I really want people from all the different phases and parts of my life all in one pool? I have mixed feelings about that! I haven't decided yet if that's good, bad or both.

Failing to Eat!

2009-06-01T11:26:00.004-05:00

Midway through a recent afternoon I realized I hadn't eaten all day!

I've known for awhile that my eating habits are too sporadic.

What contributes to this?

Lack of good routines.
Letting things that seem more urgent or interesting squeeze eating out.
A large amount of meal times occuring either when I'm alone or at work.

It's easy to take underestimate the signficance of eating with other people and the variety of positive impacts this can have practically and relationally.

What shall I do to improve this situation?

How might these issues factor into my church's recently identified, but yet to be developed focus around our food shelf?

Do-able To Do Lists

2009-05-18T16:39:00.005-05:00

In response to my to-do lists being too long, a reader suggested I focus my lists on one day or one room.

I think some of my lists should focus on even less. They should encouraging discipline for the specific times of day I know I'm likely to loose focus. They should acknowledge things that take up time that I don't factor in well enough.

Furthermore, what if I made my lists short enough that I knew I could actually accomplish them?

I keep making unrealistic lists. Sometimes I let myself think I could actually accomplish them. Other times I know I can't, but feel the need to keep all the things on the list, because they have to get done sooner or later, preferably sooner.

That's not helpful or rewarding. I suppose I need that big master list somewhere. But what point is there in taking on more of it than I can handle at a time?

Dark Picture

2009-05-06T10:46:00.004-05:00

Yes, I know the photo in the last post is dark. When I first viewed it on the blog I thought it was a problem.

Then I looked got closer and looked more, as if letting my eyes adjust to the darkness and focus in. I could see enough. I even noticed something I really liked that I hadn't noticed before.

Is it just because I already know what's in the picture? Or can you see enough if you look closely? (I don't know.) If you need a hint, it's a view from a porch (or is it...no wait, I won't give the other perspective away).

Looking and listening closely, or not, creates interesting effects.

When I picked my car up from the shop I listened intently to see if the noise I took it in for was gone. The noise was gone. But I heard another I was sure hadn't been there before. Later when I wasn't paying attention, I heard that "new" noise again, and realized it was familiar.

Yesterday at the clinic the doctor asked if a certain sore little mark was always there. I didn't really think so. Walking back to my car I suddenly recognized the familiarity of that spot's discomfort.

What am I tuning out that I might want to notice today? What problem? What beauty? What presence? What question?

Local View 1

2009-05-05T03:50:00.003-05:00

I love words. But sometimes it's so much work to try to communicate effectively with them.

You know the saying about pictures and 1,000 words.

This picture & others I imagine I might post mean something to me. I won't try to explain what on this blog.

I hope you you find them evokative in some way.

Children, Pets & Vinyl

2009-03-19T13:32:00.004-05:00

Currently listening to: "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" on Crosby, Stills & Nash - on 1969 vinyl!
Playing on a portable self contained record player!

If you have kids or pets I'm sure you've noticed how they become ice breakers for small talk with strangers.

Guess what. Vinly does the same thing.

I had a fun little conversation with the clerk at the 2nd hand store where I got this LP and a stack of other cool finds (for 80 cents each). A stranger walking along in front of Target saw me coming out with the old style recored player, grinned and said, "That's fun."

She's right of course.

My List is Too Long Again

2009-03-03T23:49:00.002-06:00

Why am I so often filled with discontent
over a to do list I can never satisfy?
No matter what I do,
There is always more.

My list is too long.

But my list is filled with good and important things.

Life is filled to overflowing with good things. (God said, "It is good.")

Which things is one person, with one lifetime,
60 minutes per hour, 24 hours per day, 365 days per year
to choose?
How is one to let go of the rest
during 60 minutes, 24 hours, 365 days, or a lifetime?

I'm not looking for another scheme for organizing and prioritizing,
unless it's one that brings spiritual transformation:
clarity about the most important things for me,
patient discipline in engaging them,
and the ability to let the other good things go.

I really am only one human...60 minutes per hour, 24 hours, 365 days, how many years?
I really can only do so much.
What shall it be?
What shall it be now?

Carry Nothing

2009-02-13T02:23:00.006-06:00

Of course the post below begs the questions:

what are the basics?
why carry anything else?

How little could I reasonably carry?

Could I carry nothing?

What were the disiples to carry or not in the story when Jesus sent them out?

Carry One Thing

2009-02-12T14:54:00.003-06:00

I was out today planning to come home again before work.
Could I go right to work without going home if I needed or wanted to?
Oh no, I'd have to get my stuff.

What stuff??
All I need to do my job is myself. All other supplies are at my workplace.

The bag of stuff I always carry around because I might find a chance to get around to doing what I'm going to do with that stuff....

I never do of course.

New approach:

Other than the basics (wallet, comb, phone, etc.) and things I know I'll use (my lunch for work, letters I'll mail on my way there...)

I may only carry one thing. ONE. Carry ONE thing only.

Be free.

3 Easy Steps

2009-02-12T01:57:00.003-06:00

3 Easy Steps to a more managable to do list.

1. Put today's date at the top of the paper
2. Write your to do list.
3. Add the words "The week of" in front the date.

In effect that's what I did today. I was quite prolific in writing my to do list. No writer's block there! If I can get it all done in a week I'll be happy. Maybe I should make that a month.

Keys

2009-02-11T01:56:00.006-06:00

I reached in my pocket and pulled out a set of keys that aren't mine!

I'm sure someone is missing them. They've probably gone to a lot of trouble over their absence. There's a car key, the car's electronic lock/unlock thing, probably a house key, a few others that could belong to this or that.....you know, more or less the normal set of keys to our lives we all carry.

Whose keys am I carrying? How did I get them!?

They look enough like mine that I suppose I absent mindedly picked them up from somewhere they were laying, unconsciously assuming I was picking up my own keys. (Yes, I do have my own keys too.)

Where would have they been laying? Did I find someone's already lost keys? Or did the keys become lost when I picked them up?

I contacted people at the last few places I'd been. So far no one seems to be looking for the keys. Actually I think I may have even pulled them out of the basket we keep keys and miscellaneous stuff in at our house. Just pulled them out without looking at their detail and stuffed them in my pocket like I often do with my own keys.

How long have I had them? Could it even be that my husband picked them up somewhere? (Doesn't seem like something he would do.) Is there any other explanation for how they might have gotten into our house?

This is very strange. And I feel bad. But I don't know how to get these keys back to whoever they belong to.

It reminds me of stories I've heard about people who walk away from an event (or a bar) with someone else's coat. Same style, color and brand as their own....but not the same things in the pockets!....Yes, it was MY coat the keys were in....

Are you missing keys!?

Follow Through

2009-01-12T12:42:00.003-06:00

I'm cleaning up my e-mail in box.

Clear evidence of my lack of follow through. Lots of old stuff in there.

What's this about?

False ideas that I'll get around to reading something later.
False ideas that I'll need to refer to something later.
Short sightedness
Putting off for a supposed better time what I should just deal with now
Lack of organization for things that I really do want to follow up on
Living for the ideal rather than living fully in the real

If I could clear up these issues, you don't know how much difference this would make in not just my e-mail in-box, but my life!

So, here's to continued progress...

Why Not to Become Ordianed

2009-01-07T02:13:00.004-06:00

I was reading about the conflicts within the Episcopal Church yesterday: individual churches leaving or considering it, the deposing of a bishop, people talking about scism...

I should consider being ordained as a clergy member in this church!?! I should step myself right into all this debate and controversy?

It's not that I don't care about the issues at hand. It's not that I couldn't vigorously enter the debate. Its that I would find myself compelled to do it too much and too well. I would wrestle terribly long and hard with all the issues. Then I would write long, detailed, nuanced papers that few would ever read. I would be sucked in and consumed.

I'm Sick of It

2009-01-06T01:24:00.002-06:00

I'm getting back to this blog because I'm tired of dealing with words. In fact I'm tired at the moment of dealing with meaning.

I've been spending even more time than usual weighing issues, words and meanings. I'm sick of it.

It's ingrained in me. I'll never be entirely free of it. Not that I really want to be anywhere close to that. But really, I don't need all those words. And I don't need all those wrestlings and wrangelings.

What would it look like if I just loved God and loved people (say like kids for starters) and forgot about anything beyond the most immediate here and now aspect of that?

What would it look like if I did the KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid) thing that I've found so offensive of a concept when it has been applied to devalue good things that have led to my complex approaches and to in effect call me stupid?

Maybe I have been stupid sometimes.

What would it look like if I didn't even take my 5 min of editing these posts?

Like this.
There you have it.

You Know Things Are Out of Hand When...

2008-11-16T18:55:00.003-06:00

you've gotten back enough breathing room that you're actually thinking of make a to-do list...

but you don't know where your calendar and planning book are.

One God

2008-09-22T01:21:00.000-05:00

The question of one God....

I think the question of one God vs multiple Gods sometimes becomes an unhelpful semantic barrier.

I do believe in one God. I know some people believe there are multiple Gods. Those people might not be satisfied by the perspective I'm about to give. In fact, I'm a bit concerned that it may not be respectful of me. I'd like the opportunity to discuss the issue with people who believe in multiple Gods. I'd like the opportunity to learn from them. But to the best of my knowledge, I don't know anyone with that belief.

In my perspective, belief in one God does not preclude recognition of what may be understood by others as multiple Gods, or even competing Gods. God is big enough that we use multiple metaphors for God. In my thinking, multiple Gods (past or present) may be considered a partial representation of God. Each of them are, if you will, one of many relevant metaphors for God. Metaphors (whether used for one God, multiple Gods, or anything else) in some way represent the thing for which they are being used as a metaphor, but can not completely represent or contain it, nor can they represent it with completeness or full accuracy.

In some ways those of us steeped in monotheism might benefit from thinking in terms of multiple Gods, or at least by taking diverse metaphors for God more seriously.

Too often I think we have an image of God that is neatly packaged, defined and contained. We miss too much of God that way. We tame God too much that way. We try to keep God fitting into our theology, our religion, our society, our comfort zones. But of course God isn't so easily limited. It's our theology and ourselves that we're limiting. We're keeping parts of God at a distance when we could be drawing near. Sometimes those are the parts of God we or others may need to keep our spiritual lives engaged and growing.

Night Owl

2008-09-20T04:29:00.003-05:00

I've long had a bit of a night owl tendency, and an appreciation of the benefits of being awake in the wee hours.

Since I spent a year & 9 months awhile ago working an overnight shift, and being influenced now by factors of relevance I will not enumerate, my schedule has not been the same.

You may notice that I'm posting at 4 something am.

While I could debate the pro's and con's of purposely altering the rhythm of my life to keep earlier hours...Ill refrain from boring you (and myself) by writing out that debate.

I do want to say: one advantage of the approach of winter is that I can be awake at such hours with decreased concern that the morning birds have begun to sing and the sky has begun to show signs of light.

We Believe In One God

2008-07-30T02:45:00.001-05:00

This is the first phrase of the Nicene Creed.

I suspect that the writers of the creed assumed belief in God and meant to make the point that they believe in ONE God. But before I tackle that part of the issue, it seems relevant to consider the question of belief in God. It can not be assumed that people believe in God or not, or what they mean by that.

However, while the question of belief in God may often be relevant, sometimes I think it gets in the way.

I've had people indicate that they don't believe in God, only to go on to express what sounds to me like belief in what I understand to be God. I think my understanding of who or what God is may differ from theirs.

On the other hand I've had a person talk about things they don't believe (things they apparently think church represents that I strongly disagree with), then go on to say they believe in God. That's fine. But I'm not sure what they mean when they say they believe in God. Their understanding of the meaning of church seems so far removed from mine that I'm hesitant to make assumptions.

Furthermore I have a co-worker who, because of statements they've made, I perceive to be atheist. Yet when I've referred to them as such, they've objected. I don't think they object primarily (if at all) because they wish to claim some belief in God. They indicate they object because they see the label as a way to unduly define and categorize.

I think they may be onto something. Statements of belief in God or non-belief in God call for more explanation. We might find we have more in common with those across the divide of our labels than we think. Sometimes we might find we have less in common than we would expect with those who use the same terms as we do. Either way, the labels and terminology shouldn't be allowed to stand in the way of supporting each other's pursuits in developing and nurturing our spiritual lives and connections. I wonder how often they do.

History & Context Disclaimer

2008-07-28T01:17:00.004-05:00

As I set out to comment on creedal statements and beliefs, I want to acknowledge that there is a lot of history associated with many creeds. I would need to do much reading and work to do a well informed job of interpreting the creeds within the relevant historical (and other) contexts. Though I would like to take on that task, it's a much bigger task than I have in mind for this blog. Here I simply intend to shoot from the hip about my reactions and thoughts related to each of the statements that I treat.

Me and the L Word

2008-07-21T01:26:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking about some of the things I might say about what I believe. I think some of it will sound troublesomely liberal or even heretical to some people. Some may think I've been led astray and lost my faith. To some people, what I'm likely to say will make me one of "them" instead of one of "us." I know that kind of perspective from experience.

But I don't see it that way anymore. Though I might not believe some of the specifics I used to believe, I find that the changes in my beliefs have expanded and strengthened my spiritual life and relationship with God. You don't have to see everything the same way I do or agree with everything (or anything) I say. But at least I want to let you know this.

Writing Topics

2008-07-16T17:28:00.003-05:00

The things on my mind are not always interesting topics for a blog. Even if they could be I'm not always compelled to write about them nor I do I believe I'm necessarily ready to write about them in a compelling way. So, if I'm going to make a routine out of writing I need some topics.

I have some I hope to try out.

Creeds and catechisms - The Curious Monk has proposed a Wikicreedia project. Maybe I'll do some writing on my beliefs on specific topics that could will be my personal version of this and a contribution to the nurture of that project.
The Gospel of the Week - I heard last week's gospel at church differently than I've heard it in the past and the sermon had some points I'd like to ponder further. It would be good for me to re-immerse myself in the Bible so as to explore and perhaps reclaim some of its contents from the perspective of the place my spiritual path has taken me.
I have some other ideas too...but...5 min are up. And I suspect you don't really care to read about what I MIGHT do.

I35W Bridge

2008-07-09T02:31:00.002-05:00

A couple days ago my family and I walked over the 10th Ave bridge to see the work on the I35W bridge construction.

I was fascinated and could have stayed all day. My family tired of it sooner than I.

I realized that what I like about watching the bridge under construction are the same things I like about many other things I'm interested in.

There's an amazing juxtaposition of the grand scale with smaller details.
There are a myriad of facts, implications, questions and meanings associated with each of these levels of detail.
There are many perspectives from which to look - both physically and otherwise.

Adult vs Family Vacations

2008-06-30T10:42:00.008-05:00

My husband and I have spent plenty time bicycling and camping in conditions that would push the limits of most people's comfort and tolerance.

Sometimes it's seemed we've biked and camped more in the dark and on the edge of the seasons than any other time of day or year.

Rain, snow, dark and cold....all familiar conditions for bicycle touring and camping.

It wasn't always fun. But I enjoyed it enough that I was always willing to go again. I think my husband always enjoyed it more than I did.

Without kids I'd still be out there doing all kinds of things that I'm not up for with kids.

We've made some trips with the kids that haven't gone well.
That's my assessment, not necessarily my husbands. He wouldn't deny the adverse conditions we encountered, they just don't bother him as much.

For me it becomes too much work to be worth it.

If its just me I'm taking care of I can manage that and enjoy the accomplishment. But when I have to cope with whatever physical and emotional challenge the adventure has brought our way AND function as a parent in that same challenging context; responding to the physical, emotional and relational dynamics that implies, it pushes it past my limits of desirability. It's no longer a vacation. It's no longer much fun.

Did I mention that we haven't decided what we'll do for vacation this year?

Goals - the short list

2008-06-29T00:45:00.004-05:00

Two unrelated people recently suggested I make my goals a shorter more attainable list.

I've been told this many times actually. I never do it.

I can't find enough of my goals that I'm willing to give up. Which of the things on my list don't I really really want to do, or feel I have to do? Not enough to get the list down to an achievable level.

So I continue on in frustration, with my to do list hanging over my head, keeping me feeling too busy, always behind, never satisfied.

But why? If things aren't going to get done anyway, why maintain an unrealistic expectation? Why hold illusions?

I understand a little bit about why I do it. But that's another topic.

Somehow, this time, I'm hoping, maybe I've heard the message a little louder than usual. It's starting to make a little more sense.

Yet as I think about tomorrow, I strongly sense the likelihood of having a longer list than I can achieve...and I'm not sure how to get out of it. I'll try.

What We All Have in Common

2008-06-27T03:16:00.004-05:00

What is it about food & meals & sharing food that makes you want to have everyone there when you have a feast and that makes food such an important part of some many things?

Its the one thing we all have in common.

This isn't my own insight. It was a gift from God. It was a gift from the Universe, a gift from and through my friend who was sharing supper with us.

It was something he was in sync enough to say
And I at the moment was in snyc enough to hear
And now I'm starting to understand so much more....
about my own experiences and about social & cultural dynamics and about religious ritual & meaning, and about why an open table is so important.

Wow, what a moment.

The moment didn't call for it, nor is my theology sorted out about it....
but in reflecting on that conversation at supper, it has felt like there's a way in which it would have been appropriate at that time for the bread to have been picked up and offered with the words, "the body of Christ..."

It is a good and joyful thing, always & everywhere to give thanks to God

Dinner Party

2008-06-21T01:59:00.003-05:00

What is it about food and sharing it that

makes you want to invite all your friends when you're preparing a feast...
makes it such a big part of religious ritual & symbolism...
makes it a major part of cultural observances and celebrations (what holiday doesn't have food?)

I hosted a dinner party last night. It got me thinking about all this.

I'm tempted to ramble and reflect about all my shared meal stories. But I only have 5 minutes and you have your own stories. Maybe we can talk about them over dinner sometime.

Topics to Expect

2008-06-20T01:27:00.003-05:00

I hate to take up time & space w/ this, but it seems I should let you know what to expect.

I anticipate it will be:

anything that I'm inclined to & brave enough to talk about in this forum.
varied...If you know me you might be able to guess a lot of the types of topics, but maybe not all of them. If you're not intersted in one, I might be writing about something else another day.

The Idea

2008-06-18T12:06:00.000-05:00

A friend recently mentioned the importance of making a verbal point in 30 seconds or less, so as not to loose the attention of your listener.

I want to apply a similar standard to my writing.

My goals are to

improve my writing
improve my time management
increase communication between myself and others
give myself an expressive outlet without getting sucked into a lengthy endeavor

The plan (at this point) is that I will give myself a strict 5 min to write,
then save the writing as a draft.
On the next occasion, I'll give myself a strict 5 min to edit/finish,
then post. What you see is what you get.
I hope to post frequently, several times a week.

I will be able to meet some of my goals on my own.
But it will be a lot more fun & a lot more effective if people join me.

Comments on my writing and comments on my content are both welcome.
You're also welcome to join the project, in any number of ways...
Make a 5 min. response. ..
Or adopt the idea and write your own topic using this format...
Or make whatever proposal you come up with.

This is a personal project...but I'd much prefer it be a communal one.

Post time....!